So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
