We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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