i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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