Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
