you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
