Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
