Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
