You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
