I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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