hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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