she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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