i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
