I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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