went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
