Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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