Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
