I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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