so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We got so high we made milksteak
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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