I can tuck mytits in my pants
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
