After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
