I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
