im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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