she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
