Your dad touched me again.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
