that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Panties = found
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
