Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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