9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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