just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
