Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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