I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
