Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
