So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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