I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
