We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
