so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
