apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize