Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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