I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
