I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
