We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
