What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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