Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
