saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
