so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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