she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
