I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We have started to decorate penises.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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