yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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