Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.

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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl

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(850): View more from Florida

Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.

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(248): View more from Michigan

i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism

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(217): View more from Illinois

3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...

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