Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Randomize
