yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
