Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize