Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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