brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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