So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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