Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
