At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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