yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I want to fling myself into the sun
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
