For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The air was thick with penises
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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