we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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