He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i permit you to call me
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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