does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
